00:18:54 Sarah Kosterlitz: That's betterhelp.com slash idotoday. We all want to feel more connected in our relationships, but oftentimes we don't know where to start. If you're here and listening to the podcast, you've already made a huge step in the right direction to strengthening and deepening your relationship. But what you're probably still looking for are the specific tools and exercises needed to create lasting, positive improvements in your relationship. Change doesn't happen on its own, and that's why we created the course Spark My Relationship. Spark My Relationship will help you create more passion, improve your communication, and build a stronger, more intimate connection with your partner in less than 90 days. When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship doesn't have to take the backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark while having fun. Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion, skills, and wisdom. This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together, and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. Some of these strategies include how to eliminate unhelpful old habits, develop mindful awareness to help improve stress management, learning healthy and successful communication tools, creating a deeper and more intimate bond, and strengthening your couple microculture and future together. Don't just settle for an average relationship. Make it amazing. For our listeners only, we're offering a special $100 off the course.

00:10:30 Sarah Kosterlitz: But what you're probably still looking for are the specific tools and exercises needed to create lasting, positive improvements in your relationship. Change doesn't happen on its own, and that's why we created the course Spark My Relationship. Spark My Relationship will help you create more passion, improve your communication, and build a stronger, more intimate connection with your partner in less than 90 days. When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship doesn't have to take the backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark while having fun. Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion, skills, and wisdom. This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together, and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. Some of these strategies include how to eliminate unhelpful old habits, develop mindful awareness to help improve stress management, learning healthy and successful communication tools, creating a deeper and more intimate bond, and strengthening your couple microculture and future together. Don't just settle for an average relationship, make it amazing. For our listeners only, we're offering a special $100 off the course. Visit sparkmyrelationship.com slash unlock to unlock your discount today. There's a 30 day money back guarantee, so there's really no reason not to give it a try. Visit sparkmyrelationship.com forward slash unlock for $100 off our online course.

00:12:15 Chase Kosterlitz: What are some of those strategies?

00:12:24 (someone): What is my responsibility in the world to give myself or to foster this positive emotion that I'm looking for?

00:12:31 Sarah Kosterlitz: Before we continue on, we're going to take a short break to tell you about our sponsors. We all want to feel more connected in our relationships, but oftentimes we don't know where to start. If you're here and listening to the podcast, you've already made a huge step in the right direction to strengthening and deepening your relationship. But what you're probably still looking for are the specific tools and exercises needed to create lasting, positive improvements in your relationship. Change doesn't happen on its own, and that's why we created the course Spark My Relationship. Spark My Relationship will help you create more passion, improve your communication, and build a stronger, more intimate connection with your partner in less than 90 days. When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship doesn't have to take the backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark while having fun. Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion, skills, and wisdom. This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together, and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. Some of these strategies include how to eliminate unhelpful old habits, develop mindful awareness to help improve stress management, learning healthy and successful communication tools, creating a deeper and more intimate bond, and strengthening your couple microculture and future together. Don't just settle for an average relationship, make it amazing.

00:17:21 Sarah Kosterlitz: Before we continue on, we're going to take a short break to tell you about our sponsors. We all want to feel more connected in our relationships, but oftentimes we don't know where to start. If you're here and listening to the podcast, you've already made a huge step in the right direction to strengthening and deepening your relationship. But what you're probably still looking for are the specific tools and exercises needed to create lasting, positive improvements in your relationship. Change doesn't happen on its own, and that's why we created the course Spark My Relationship. Spark My Relationship will help you create more passion, improve your communication, and build a stronger, more intimate connection with your partner in less than 90 days. When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship doesn't have to take the backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark while having fun. Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion, skills, and wisdom. This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together, and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. Some of these strategies include how to eliminate unhelpful old habits, develop mindful awareness to help improve stress management, learning healthy and successful communication tools, creating a deeper and more intimate bond, and strengthening your couple microculture and future together. Don't just settle for an average relationship. Make it amazing. For our listeners only, we're offering a special $100 off the course.

00:11:23 Sarah Kosterlitz: Before we continue on, we're going to take a short break to tell you about our sponsors. We all want to feel more connected in our relationships, but oftentimes we don't know where to start. If you're here and listening to the podcast, you've already made a huge step in the right direction to strengthening and deepening your relationship. But what you're probably still looking for are the specific tools and exercises needed to create lasting, positive improvements in your relationship. Change doesn't happen on its own, and that's why we created the course Spark My Relationship. Spark My Relationship will help you create more passion, improve your communication, and build a stronger, more intimate connection with your partner in less than 90 days. When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship doesn't have to take the backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark while having fun. Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion, skills, and wisdom. This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together, and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. Some of these strategies include how to eliminate unhelpful old habits, develop mindful awareness to help improve stress management, learning healthy and successful communication tools, creating a deeper and more intimate bond, and strengthening your couple microculture and future together. Don't just settle for an average relationship, make it amazing. For our listeners only, we're offering a special $100 off the course.

00:11:10 Sarah Kosterlitz: When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship doesn't have to take the backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark while having fun. Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion, skills, and wisdom. This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together, and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. Some of these strategies include how to eliminate unhelpful old habits, develop mindful awareness to help improve stress management, learning healthy and successful communication tools, creating a deeper and more intimate bond, and strengthening your couple microculture and future together. Don't just settle for an average relationship. Make it amazing. For our listeners only, we're offering a special $100 off the course. Visit sparkmyrelationship.com slash unlock to unlock your discount today. There's a 30 day money back guarantee, so there's really no reason not to give it a try. Visit sparkmyrelationship.com forward slash unlock for $100 off our online course.

00:12:33 Chase Kosterlitz: What are some reasons that people may, I don't want to say just drift apart, but not feel like they have their partners back? For the person listening, it's like, yeah, I don't really feel like I have my partners back. And maybe I feel like a lot of times that would be because they don't feel like they have their back.

00:13:25

Sarah Kosterlitz: That's Foria, F-O-R-I-A wellness.com forward slash I do for 20% off your first order. I recommend trying their awaken arousal oil and sex oil. You'll thank me later. We all want to feel more connected in our relationships, but oftentimes we don't know where to start. If you're here and listening to the podcast, you've already made a huge step in the right direction to strengthening and deepening your relationship. But what you're probably still looking for are the specific tools and exercises needed to create lasting, positive improvements in your relationship. Change doesn't happen on its own, and that's why we created the course Spark My Relationship. Spark My Relationship will help you create more passion, improve your communication, and build a stronger, more intimate connection with your partner in less than 90 days. When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship doesn't have to take the backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark while having fun. Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion, skills, and wisdom. This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together, and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. Some of these strategies include how to eliminate unhelpful old habits, develop mindful awareness to help improve stress management, learning healthy and successful communication tools, creating a deeper and more intimate bond, and strengthening your couple microculture and future together.

00:19:44

(someone): But it is kind of like, this is how you alchemize and integrate those conflicts into creating a better relationship. It's not just about getting through the conflict, finding a way to incorporate the knowledge and newfound understanding from that conflict into your relationship.

00:20:04

Sarah Kosterlitz: Before we continue on, we're going to take a short break to tell you about our sponsors. We all want to feel more connected in our relationships, but oftentimes we don't know where to start. If you're here and listening to the podcast, you've already made a huge step in the right direction to strengthening and deepening your relationship. But what you're probably still looking for are the specific tools and exercises needed to create lasting, positive improvements in your relationship. Change doesn't happen on its own. And that's why we created the course Spark My Relationship. Spark My Relationship will help you create more passion, improve your communication, and build a stronger, more intimate connection with your partner in less than 90 days. When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship doesn't have to take the backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark while having fun. Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion, skills, and wisdom. This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together, and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients.

00:29:31 (someone): problems in a relationship. And also it has exercises and different kind of, yeah, activities that you can do with your partner. So it's always a kind of a great read if you can share that with your partner and just kind of identify some of these basic common errors that we make. Another one is called Rekindling Desire by Barry and Emily McCarthy. And again, it has different kind of activities in the book, but it also just talks about how to kind of well, rekindle the desire. So if things have come, you know, you've lost kind of that intimacy or maybe never really had that kind of, um, the sexual intimacy, then it can really help, um, develop that. Yeah.

00:30:18 Sarah Kosterlitz: Great. Well, those books will be on your show notes page on our website at I do podcast.com. Great. We've been married for two years now. Is there any advice you'd give newlyweds?

00:30:30 (someone): I would give the advice of, you know, if like consider starting couples counseling early, not to repair necessarily anything, but just to strengthen the communication and share, you know, when you're doing couples counseling at the beginning, you can kind of talk about your childhoods and share things that maybe you wouldn't normally share with each other and have that third party. And it really can help develop an understanding and empathy for one another. I often see, you know, people coming in, you know, however many years down the road when one partner's already completely checked out, or perhaps one partner has just said, you know, I'll do this out of respect for you, but really, you know, the relationship's pretty much over.

00:12:13 (someone): So we really advocate for those positive situations and keeping them time limited to keep them positive. Then we move on to touching and sensual pleasuring. So the couple has to be at this point prepared for touching and physical activities. Again, doesn't involve intercourse. It just involves self-awareness. The goal is promoting self-awareness helping couples reconnect with their sensual feelings, and again, focusing on those positive interactions with one another. So what does this look like? Well, you know, we talked to the couple about the different kinds of touch that they find enjoyable. Do they like cuddling? Do they like holding hands? What were some of the things that have been positive in their past? What are some things that have been problematic so that you can make sure to avoid those areas? Some couples literally have not touched each other for months or even years. We say, listen, your first task is to do a touching exercise. It is not sexual. Instead, I want you to focus on the sensuality of it. You need to set aside, you know, 10 to 15 minutes for this for the main part. But for the first few exercises, if you've had people who really haven't touched each other in a long period of time, it might be 10 minutes total with five minutes, you know, for each person to sort of give and receive. So the idea is that one person initiates, you take turns touching each other in a way that feels pleasant and is free of anxiety. So again, by taking turns, you're able to focus on your feelings.

00:14:12 (someone): And that idea of newness is really what makes that spark at the beginning of a relationship and kind of those like, you know, butterfly feelings. It's all about the new factor. And so when you try new things together, that's a really great way to get that spark and that sense of excitement back into your relationship. And there's really no better time to do that than right before you're getting married.

00:14:31 Sarah Kosterlitz: Absolutely. And I think the next point, which is I think one of my favorites, is make the honeymoon planning a priority. So can you expand a little bit more on that?

00:14:43 (someone): Of course, of course. I mean, I think whether or not you're going on your honeymoon right after the wedding, that you should still make a Pinterest board for your wedding or for your honeymoon instead of just making one for your wedding. You know, get your fiance involved if something that if he's kind of been shying away from wedding planning and kind of is like, I don't really care about these poofy details. Have him kind of take point on the honeymoon, but don't let him do it all by himself. You know, there's definitely traditionally the groom kind of pays for and plans the honeymoon. But it's really a great opportunity to dream together about where you'd want to go and what you want to see and what types of vacations, you know, you'd want to take together, even in the future. It's a good time to start that travel bucket list and say, okay, for our honeymoon, we want to go here, but here are all the other places that we want to visit through our lives.

00:23:16 (someone): take your clothes off, getting in bed, but there needs to be just a physical connection with intention every day. It could be a long embrace. You know, one of the things that me and my husband have throughout the house, we just have these little, they're almost like a little mistletoe, not that you need any excuse to embrace, but we do it in a fun way because we want to make sure as we're moving throughout our day, we have that physical connection. Another thing that I really highly recommend for couples is you have a time set aside. Some like to do it every other week, some do it once a month. I think in a healthy relationship, you're spending more time enjoying the relationship and not processing every single thing, but there should be a set aside time. I call those couples retreats. And it could just be, you know, an hour or two where you really do sit down and check in on the relationship. How are you doing? How are things going? Anything you want to run past me? This is nice because you always know we have a ritual. I don't have to necessarily hold on to anything or I don't have to feel like I have to process it in the moment. We have set aside time every month on our relationship retreat to do that. You know, other ideas I like, I call it express romance. You know, a lot of couples, Sheila, we're so busy, we just can't plan X, Y, Z. I talk about that picnic, you know, that indoor picnic before bed, just get your blanket, a little wine and cheese. These are things that don't take all day. But when those constant streams of time together,

00:38:41 Sarah Kosterlitz: Thank you guys so much for tuning into today's episode. As always, all the links to the guests as well as any of their recommendations will be in the show notes page. You can find the link to that in the episode description or by going to idopodcast.com. Click on the podcast tab up at the top and you will have access to all the episodes that we've ever done. There are over 300 of them. And while you're on our website, if you haven't checked out our free 14-day happy couple challenge, we really hope you do. It's a free email challenge that we send to you. It's 14 days of fun, easy, doable challenges to help strengthen and improve your relationship. And if you're looking for something that provides a little more help with working on your relationship, whether it's improving intimacy or communication with your partner, or just bringing the spark back, we would love for you guys to check out our online course, Spark My Relationship. We're offering $100 off to all of our listeners if you go to sparkmyrelationship.com forward slash unlock. We've worked with over 15 psychologists and therapists to create the real life tools and strategies that they are teaching their clients. So we wanted to give them to you. It's a self-paced online course that can be done in as little as a month or up to three months. You can really decide how much or how little you want to do with your partner or maybe just yourself. So we hope you guys check that out.

00:07:58 (someone): When you're somewhere or you practice every morning some mindfulness, maybe two, three minutes of mindfulness, learning how to slow your breathing down, learning how to be okay with where you're at and not judging yourself. up in your head. Another practice of self intimacy, of course, is just working out, taking care of the body, eating healthy is also a good way of taking care of that self intimacy.

00:08:31 Sarah Kosterlitz: Before we continue on, we're going to take a short break to tell you about our sponsors. We all want to feel more connected in our relationships, but oftentimes we don't know where to start. If you're here and listening to the podcast, you've already made a huge step in the right direction to strengthening and deepening your relationship. But what you're probably still looking for are the specific tools and exercises needed to create lasting, positive improvements in your relationship. Change doesn't happen on its own, and that's why we created the course Spark My Relationship. Spark My Relationship will help you create more passion, improve your communication, and build a stronger, more intimate connection with your partner in less than 90 days. When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship doesn't have to take the backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark while having fun. Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion, skills, and wisdom. This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together, and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients.

00:15:19 (someone): And unfortunately, adult play is somewhat underrated and and discouraged. You know, stop acting like kids. I think if couples acted a little more like kids, they'd probably find ways to be happier.

00:15:37 Chase Kosterlitz: That's really important, especially nowadays with our busier lives and if you're a soccer mom, you're like a taxi driver and it's hard. That's why it's so important to consciously take this information and act on it. Don't just listen. Go out there and do it and make it happen because our lives are busier than ever and it's not just going to happen without a little bit of effort, probably a lot of effort for a lot of our listeners. Love that tip. Are there any other maybe playful things that we could give our listeners or Sarah and I some ideas to spark that novelty?

00:16:15 (someone): Well, you know, sparking the novelty has a great deal to do with things that you can do every day to keep a certain mood going in your relationship. Meet and say goodbye to each other in a good way, in a loving way. Greet people coming home. you know, whoever it is that's coming home or both of you coming home in a nice way. Hold hands. You know, when you hug, hug like you mean it. You know, run your hand down those arms. Run your hands down the back, you know, or wherever you want, you know, to send the message that, hey, I still think you're sexy. You know, I want you. I need you.

00:37:48 Sarah Kosterlitz: As always, all the links to the guests as well as any of their recommendations will be in the show notes page. You can find the link to that in the episode description or by going to idopodcast.com. Click on the podcast tab up at the top and you will have access to all the episodes that we've ever done. There are over 300 of them. And while you're on our website, if you haven't checked out our free 14-day happy couple challenge, We really hope you do. It's a free email challenge that we send to you. It's 14 days of fun, easy, doable challenges to help strengthen and improve your relationship. And if you're looking for something that provides a little more help with working on your relationship, whether it's improving intimacy or communication with your partner or just bringing the spark back, We would love for you guys to check out our online course, Spark My Relationship. We're offering $100 off to all of our listeners if you go to sparkmyrelationship.com forward slash unlock. We've worked with over 15 psychologists and therapists to create the real life tools and strategies that they are teaching their clients. So we wanted to give them to you. It's a self-paced online course that can be done in as little as a month or up to three months. You can really decide how much or how little you want to do with your partner or maybe just yourself. So we hope you guys check that out.

00:00:02 Sarah Kosterlitz: We all want to feel more connected in our relationships, but we don't always know where to start. If you're here and listening, you've already made a huge step in the right direction to strengthen and deepen your relationship. Listening and learning to experts is definitely key, but turning that advice into actionable steps on your own is a whole other thing. But don't worry, we have done the heavy lifting for you. We've designed the course Spark My Relationship for you to create more passion, improve your communication, and build a stronger, more intimate connection with your partner in less than 90 days. When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship does not have to take a backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark, and the best part about it is that it's all fun. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. Are you ready to access the joy and connection that makes a relationship feel like a well-oiled machine? Well, register for Spark My Relationship today. Plus, we have a very special offer of $100 off this course for our podcast listeners. To unlock this special offer, visit sparkmyrelationship.com forward slash unlock. That's sparkmyrelationship.com forward slash unlock to get $100 off the course. Take me to the place in the middle of the sun And we'll sing these songs in a world

00:01:55 Chase Kosterlitz: Hey guys, thanks so much for tuning in to today's show, where I welcome Dr. Alexandra Katakis. And Alex is a certified sex therapist, certified sex addiction therapist, and an industry-leading expert on human sexuality and relationship issues. And her latest book is What Turns You On? A Guide to Living Your Best Sex Life. And today, Alex and I talk about

00:07:55 (someone): So we always go together and it's an hour activity. But by the time you think about what are we going to make it, what are we going to do when we're in the aisles together? It sounds strange, but it is great for bonding. I also think that people need to still court each other and date each other, even though they are married, regardless of how many years So if the kids are little, either get a sitter, ask a family member or have a friend where you can watch their kids and they can watch your kids. And even if it's once every other month, make sure you get out for a nice meal together and you really get a chance to talk and bring back the romance. And for an anniversary or a birthday, Really get a grandparent, an aunt, a sibling or a good friend to take the kids for the weekend and then you do the same for them and get a getaway. Even if it's a bed and breakfast an hour away. You really have to plan for special moments like this because if you don't, it does tend to be that one day blends into the other and you really forget to take a moment and smell the roses.

00:09:15 Sarah Kosterlitz: Yeah, it's similar to date night, and we've had a couple guests on that talk about that and how important it is to carve out a time, commit to it, and make it happen every time, and make it also creative and a little bit different.

00:09:31 (someone): Absolutely. I think just like you make time for your doctor's appointments, your beauty appointments, and your work commitments, you have to make time for your spouse.

00:00:02 (someone): We all want to feel more connected in our relationships, but we don't always know where to start. If you're here and listening, you've already made a huge step in the right direction to strengthen and deepen your relationship. Listening and learning to experts is definitely key, but turning that advice into actionable steps on your own is a whole other thing. But don't worry, we have done the heavy lifting for you. We've designed the course Spark My Relationship for you to create more passion, improve your communication, and build a stronger, more intimate connection with your partner in less than 90 days. When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship does not have to take a backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark, and the best part about it is that it's all fun. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. Are you ready to access the joy and connection that makes a relationship feel like a well-oiled machine? Well, register for Spark My Relationship today. Plus, we have a very special offer of $100 off this course for our podcast listeners. To unlock this special offer, visit sparkmyrelationship.com forward slash unlock. That's sparkmyrelationship.com forward slash unlock to get $100 off the course.

00:01:44 (someone): Take me to the place in the middle of the sun And we'll sing these songs in a way Hi guys, thanks so much for tuning in to today's show, where I welcome Eleni Ekonomids. And Eleni is a licensed marriage and family therapist in the state of New York, a certified sex therapist, and a certified life coach.

00:41:17 (someone): That alone starts to bring some spark and some interest back. One of the things that makes me the most sad as a woman, as a partner, and certainly as a love and sex trained expert is how little we attend to our relationship until it's too late, or until we're living like kind of bored roommates that more or less get along and meet for dinner. It does take effort, it takes intention, and we shouldn't be surprised. Goodness, we know our job, our parenting, our hobbies, how we decorate our home, how we cook, Everything else we do, the vegetable garden, of course, it takes training, it takes intentionality, and it takes effort. When people fall into a subconscious trap, and I want to underline subconscious trap, we have this lingering subconscious belief that relationships should come naturally. It should be easy. And for a lot of us, it was pretty easy in the beginning when we were falling in love. But that's where we get into that dreadful headspace I mentioned earlier in this interview, where we think there's something wrong with our relationship. We think we're with the wrong person because we don't have spontaneous lust and desire, because we feel bored, because it seems like the same old, same old. Here's the thing. All those things may be very true. It may be the same old, same old. You may be bored and you may be having little or no sex and almost no spontaneous desire, but you're not broken. You're typical. You're normal. Only 8% of 2,500 people said they still had a great sex life. So you're normal.

00:40:14 (someone): One of the things I teach, I sometimes call it the dog biscuit theory of relationship. Start looking for what your partner does right. Positive reinforcement, basic psychological theory. Every time you find yourself thinking, oh, he forgot to take the clothes out of the dryer again. They're all wrinkled. Now we have to iron them all. Follow it up with, yep, but what's one or two things he or she did right? What's one or two things he or she did that I'm grateful for, that I like? So instead of going into the negative story about why did I marry this person who can't freaking take the clothes out of the dryer? You go, oh, irritation, didn't take the clothes out of the dryer, but they sure made a beautiful meal last night and they made sure they made my favorite thing because they knew I was tired. And they were so great about taking the dog for a walk today when I was too busy. They're a real sweetheart. So that's a bit of thrill as well. Plan a date, plan an adventurous date. Surprises are great because surprises bring novelty. So if you text your sweetheart at three in the afternoon and say, hey, babe, tonight I'm taking you out for an hour. Get home, dress in casual clothes. You want good walking shoes. That alone starts to bring some spark and some interest back. One of the things that makes me the most sad as a woman, as a partner, and certainly as a love and sex trained expert

00:23:42 Sarah Kosterlitz: When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship doesn't have to take the backseat. This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark while having fun. Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion, skills, and wisdom. This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together, and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication. In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. Some of these strategies include how to eliminate unhelpful old habits, develop mindful awareness to help improve stress management, learning healthy and successful communication tools, creating a deeper and more intimate bond, and strengthening your couple microculture and future together. Don't just settle for an average relationship, make it amazing. For our listeners only, we're offering a special $100 off the course. Visit sparkmyrelationship.com slash unlock to unlock your discount today. There's a 30 day money back guarantee, so there's really no reason not to give it a try. Visit sparkmyrelationship.com forward slash unlock for $100 off our online course.

00:25:04 Chase Kosterlitz: What are some of the things along this continuous journey that you found helpful in flipping that bucket and taking in those drops of love?

00:25:18 (someone): I think first and foremost, it starts with your relationship with yourself. Everything you do with yourself will inform your ability to have healthy relationships with others. So the biggest section in this book is about love for self. And one of the key ideas that I explore there is prioritizing your self-respect over your self-esteem.